Once Upon A Time...

There was a little girl at Fuddrucker’s tonight wearing a pink super cape and pink mask to go with her blinky-flashy canvas tennis shoes – she is my new Hero.

Even when I was her age, (4? 5?) I don’t think I would have done something so brave. From an early age I had a strong sense of what was “allowed” and what “we don’t do” so-to-speak. Don’t think I would’ve been allowed to go out for dinner in my Super Awesome Girl get-up.

That’s just what she was: Super & Awesome!

Her mommy and little brother we already inside and awaiting the arrival of “Daddy and Chloe” when we placed our order (I have Mom Ears…I hear everything). When Chloe arrived she hugged her little brother who greeted her with “OH HI!” and returned the embrace (SIGH! My kids never did that when they were little – hell, they rarely do that now as “growned ups”).

I want to be – no, I SHOULD be - more like Chloe!

Free to march around Fuddrucker’s (or any ole place I choose) as if it’s my personal establishment, flaunting my blink-flashy canvas tennis shoes and swooshing my awesome pink cape - with the lightning bolt on the back…yeah, and a mask too…a bit o’ anonymity is always good (besides, it completes the look).

Sadly…I am not Awesome, Super, Sparkly girl…I am boring, responsible, reserved, introverted little me. No blinky-flashy shoes, no cape, no mask…just my long-ish shirt (to cover my hip and rear bulges) and my plain old flipflops (comfortable but not fashionable) and my drab, capri pants.  As always, hindered by my perception of “what I am allowed to do/be/wear” in polite company.

It wasn’t always this way. Once upon a time I was that little girl – afraid of nothing (except maybe of NOT being/expressing who I was) and somewhere along the way I lost that.

When did that happen? When did I become a slave to the “rules” others have determined are proper? For that matter who died and made those people boss? Huh?!

I have photographic evidence that once, a long, long, time ago…I “dressed up”! I wore outlandish outfits and dwelled in a world fashioned out of fantasy and a vivid imagination. I built blanket forts and coerced my friends into helping me “play school” (I was pretty much always “the teacher”)and "Pioneer Explorers" in the canyons. I was free to be whomever and whatever I wanted.

Now, I play by the rules. I squash down that little girl and her Super Tendencies and I put my “professional” face forward. I work my 40-hour-week, collect my check, pay my bills and gaze longingly at those who are able to express themselves freely.

What the hell happened?!

To Chloe’s Mommy and Daddy I say: Thank you! Keep up the good work! You have a Super Awesome Sparkly Girl! Don’t let her lose that spark!

As for me? I will stive to be more like “Super Chloe”! Sparkly, Awesome, Blinky-flashy and most importantly SUPER!