The Comfort Zone

^This quote^

I saw this quote the other day and it struck something deep within me.

Most of my life I hid beneath the cover of shyness.

Looking back I realize that the truth is that I was afraid. Fear was the paralytic that held me in place – halting forward progress.

Realizing this, and looking back over my life, it makes me sad. There are gifts that I was blessed with that I didn’t share because of this fear. Opportunities were missed because of the lies fear whispered to me.

The few times I was able to rise above the fear a powerful joy to take its place.

And then, one day, I made the choice to become a nurse.  

There is no room in nursing for the kind of fear that had filled my life up to that point.

In order to succeed at my dream I HAD to step outside of what I knew, outside my habits and what was comfortable, and be - *GULP* - uncomfortable.

An amazing thing happened when I chose to be uncomfortable – my definition of “uncomfortable” began to shift. The very act of doing something that made me uncomfortable allowed me to *become* comfortable doing it!

This phenomenon continued as I progressed through my nursing courses, after graduation and on into my personal life. What I define as my “comfort level” changes each day. I have stepped so far beyond the boundaries that previously held me in check that I can’t even see that place from where I stand today.

I still have fears – old habits die hard. Every day I struggle with choosing the uncomfortable over that which is familiar and “safe”.  That voice of doubt still whispers in my ear: “What if you fail?” “What if you totally suck at this?” “What if they laugh at you?”

What if it’s AMAZING? What if *I* am AMAZING?!

…go away fear…I am going to try “uncomfortable” today!

 

Reflection

Every so often I have to slow down and take a moment to look in a mirror.

I’m not talking about a cursory glance to check hair or make-up, no…I mean looking into the depths of the reflection – into *who* I see there.

Most of us focus on the *what* of our reflections – our looks, signs of aging on our skin, clothing lines…but those things are not important – not really.

What matters most is seen only when we gaze deeply into our own eyes – the window to our very soul.

There was a point in my life when this was an uncomfortable exercise for me. I couldn't look for long…I’d begin to squirm and a blush would begin to creep across my cheeks.

Shame will do that to a person.

After years of hearing how wrong I was, how fat I was, how useless and ungrateful I was…among other things…I had grown ashamed of myself.

Wait…that’s not entirely true…I was not ashamed of *myself* …my True Self was always there, whole and waiting to be recognized…she had been forced back, to cower in a dark corner – but she was there. I had learned shame – shame of “self” that was being projected by the constant reminders of the wrongness and imperfections within me.

None of us is perfect – not one. However, we are not so flawed that we cannot exist and thrive in the confines of this world – an imperfect world for that matter.

Society goes out of its way to point out our flaws and imperfections – in high definition on gigantic wide-screens with surround sound & CG special effects…but we must remind ourselves that those are superficial qualities.

Our True Self lives at the core of our being – it cannot be touched by “the world” and all its infectious hatred. Deep down you are exactly as you were the day you entered this world – a true reflection of what YOU are intended to be …with only gained knowledge added to the mix.

Only by gazing deeply into our own eyes can we grasp how amazing this Self is. 

The first time I tried this little “self-awareness” exercise I was in tears within a short while…I found that I wasn’t able to pretend when connected to my Self…I had to face the music, deal with the baggage I had allowed to accumulate and throw away the useless junk and clutter.

After the housekeeping was done…I was amazed! I’m a pretty neat person! =) No, really! I am! SO ARE YOU! You are an amazing, wonderful, loving, lovable human being!! You were placed on this earth for a time – to learn some lessons, to meet others, to love and be loved – and to pass on the wisdom you gain alone the way.

This life is a Journey – the path is much smoother is we connect with who we really are deep down.

Take a few moments to look in a mirror. Lean in. Lock eyes with the person you see there. No pretense, no veils, just you and your True Self. 

Who do you see?